Fell magics are at work against me and dread once again grips me at night, past the witching hour and on through to the early morning pre-dawn.
Idle hands hasten the foul feelings that drift inside my mind.
I must stay busy lest I fall victim to sadness and sleep.
I find myself searching for something that is boxed up and a thousand miles away in mountain storage.
Sometimes it's a book I seek and other times an artifact from adventures past, but mostly it's a piece of home, comfort…familiarity.
Intangible items inside my head.
An afternoon storm crossed the lake yesterday, tumultuous and short lived, laden with rain and bursts of wind.
And though I was briefly distracted by the tempest, once again the dark thoughts returned, unease.
I am under a weird spell of separation from city and work.
A ranger returned to the wild, broken.
I'm finding it hard to relax and connect to this place and freedom once again.
I felt the same when I began my adventure in the city.
It took 2 years to adjust to that environment.
I observed even then the laughable reality of a ranger out of his environment and lost...until I figure it out.
And now, another change.
It is all for the good, of that I have no doubt, but this transition is difficult.
And of course, where do we go from here?
Uncertainty is the enemy.